February 4, 2016

D-117

It's been three weeks now. I've been writing, correcting, re-writing, editing, re-reading, re-editing.

Resume, skills, leadership style. I feel like a prehistoric man hiding in the darkness of his cave, sharpening flint stones and binding them to a stick to make a spear. I understand the need for good preparation but now I really want to go out hunting, to meet a mammoth, or perhaps a saber-tooth tiger, to face them and see what happens. 

What's more, one of the two active searches I was counting on was stopped and this is never a good sign. That's why, against the advice of the consultant, I answered a dozen ads using a mix of old and new resume and cover letter.

January 14, 2016

D-138

I officially boarded the aircraft carrier. Today I began my journey in the outplacement world and I realized that there's a lot of work ahead. First on myself, then on my relationships with others. I will not hurry,  I want to start with taking care of myself, cycling and losing a few pounds, and spend a little more time with my daughter, to whom we didn't tell yet (and decided not to tell in the future) about my new work situation given that at four years she's not able to fully understand, and the only thing she should be interested in is the longer hours she's going to spend with her father...

January 10, 2016

D-142

Today they removed my access to corporate email and network folders, even though I'm still formally employed by my company (actually I'll be on paid leave until May end). It made me a little sad, no two ways about it... Looking at daily sales evolution at 15 and at 18 was a ritual that had been with me for five years. But It's correct, I must cut the threads that still keep me connected to my old life.

December 29, 2015

D-154

I've been dreaming for two nights on end that I need to leave for a long journey. My subconscious is so embarrassingly trivial...

December 22, 2015

D-161

Today was the day dedicated to the exit preparation, to cleaning the desk and to farewell drink. As I was emptying the drawers I realized that the feeling of losing a piece of me, to not "belong" anymore is strong. Then luckily my rational part took over, shouting at me that I had not belonged there for a hell of a long time and moreover, fuck, it's just a job.The farewell drink was peppered with words of praise which I like to think aren't just circumstantial, gifts made from the heart and thus all the more precious, and some unregretted coworkers absences. I have always cherished more the appreciation of my team than my bosses' one, and perhaps that's also why I am in this situation, but that's okay.

I wrote a nice goodbye email, I'm still patting my back for it. Several answers arrived which made me realize at least I left something to somebody. It 'important and it makes me go away more serene.

December 18, 2015

D-165

Today I got the first good news of this period. Out of correctness I called the consultant of the first outplacement firm to tell him that, reluctantly - considering the excellent impression he had had on me - I had decided to choose their competitors.

As an answer, I could almost feel him smiling from the other side of the phone while he told me that there was one thing he could not disclose until now: from January 1 he will change jobs and join its current competitors, the company I chose.

The planets are aligning to ensure that everything is as I want. I will have the best of both worlds.

Good luck to me.

December 15, 2015

D-168

Important day today. Two things happened that will define my life this next year. The first one is that I eventually chose the outplacement company who will help me in finding a new job. After meeting with the senior consultant (which did not impress me as the first company's one), I chose the second company, the market leader. I chose with my head and not with the stomach, I decided to go with the battleship and not with the guerrilla. As a matter of fact I have always been a supporter of the use of disproportionate force. It was an important decision, now we'll see where it leads.
The second one is that today I had the first interview of my new life. As a matter of fact I hadn't had an interview in a pretty long time for several reasons, the main being the fact that a few months ago I stopped all my job hunting activities awaiting my actual company's check that would surely come.

I was a bit out of practice, more than a bit actually, but all in all I fared pretty well. My curriculum vitae is varied and interesting, you don't happen to see many of them around. 

The selection process will go on, but it's clear that it will last long and the chances to be successful are rather low. It matters little though, today I'm like an athlete recovering from a long injury: I must first recover a good physical condition, then I have to start exercising alone, play some training matches, maybe spend some time on the bench, always training hard to come back to the field. 

And maybe play as a starter (and win) the Champions League final.